The Trouble With Women

So, I'm a lesbian. I am not butch nor do I live in jeans and flannies, tank tops and board shorts. I am simply just an average 20-year-old, makeup loving, clothes whoring feminine woman who unfortunately, loves women. I'll just say this to everyone who is reading this thinking, 'yeah, I love women too, sweetie' in a manly voice with their testosterone-fueled biceps squeezing out of their Cotton On T-shirt, which happens to be too sizes too small: there is nothing fantastic about being in love with women. Unlike men women have this special talent. That talent is called 'the wondrous emotions of women'. You know when Eve shook her hooters at Adam and dared him to taste the tantalizing forbidden fruit? That is what women do with their feelings, "here baby, I'm expressing my love and honesty to you--- Oh wait, no it's poison. Whoops?" Now picture two Eve's shakin' their money-makers at each other throwing forbidden fruit around the Garden of Eden. This is what lesbianism is like, a fucking out of control mess in in lovely place. And do you know what drives me crazy? Is the fact that no matter how hard you try to fight these feelings to not throw the fruit at your girlfriend and go all crazy on her ma'fuckin' ass, she finds a way to trick you into eating the fruit, and choke on your words while doing so. But, do you want to know the real trouble with women? They're psychotic temptresses. All of us. Everything is perfect one minute, and the next?  All the fruit is eaten and it's to hell in a hand-basket.